The J Spot-light with Juliet Allen
She’s bold. She’s fierce. She’s breaking down barriers at a rapid rate as women across Australia (and beyond) open their eyes, ears and legs to her guidance on all things sex, self-love, sexuality and intimacy. Juliet Allen, we salute you.
Jonny is super chuffed to be sponsoring a few of your latest podcasts and even more excited to be speaking to you today, Juliet, thank you! Sex is awesome—this should be shouted from every rooftop and you do just that. You have achieved so much in this life, from yoga teacher to psychologist to mother. What drew you to the path of sexology?
Well, as you mentioned, I was a yoga teacher and towards the end of that career choice I was getting tired of 'namaste' and felt bored, to be honest with you. I felt like something was missing in what I was teaching and embodying. I sat down and felt into what I was REALLY passionate about and joked that it was sex - my friend I was with suggested I study sex, and it was the best suggestion ever! I began a masters in sexology a month later and here I am, working as a sexologist and loving it.
Jonny sees a bit of resistance and stigma around the conversation of condoms and safe sex. Surely as a sexologist you face some of this too? In your line of work, what is the biggest adversity you have to rise above and how do you handle it?
To be really honest I haven't experienced much resistance toward my work at all. I feel like people are more open than ever to receive this education, especially the younger generation. If I did experience adversity I would deal with it like this: most of us have issues around our sexuality and sex life, so if people ever challenge me, or resist my work, I see it as they're simply challenged to face their own inner 'stuff' around sex, and that perhaps it's not in this lifetime, or time in their life, that they will move through the challenges. I have lots of compassion for those who are not ready to have these conversations.
It used to be so much about the male leading a situation, the men’s arousal and pleasure. Jonny is all about equality and making a woman feel like a boss carrying condoms and taking control of her sexuality, ready for any spontaneous sexual encounter, should it occur. After chatting to many young women, Jonny noticed that there was a lot of awkwardness and lack of confidence in the heat of the moment when it came to bringing up the use of a condom. Do you have any wisdom you can share on how to best handle these moments and feel good about it?
Sure! I think it's pretty simple: all of us, both women and men, need to take care of our sexual health, this included our physical and emotional sexual health. To take care of and be responsible for our sexual health is an attractive quality, it's sexy! I encourage women to own the part of themselves that values health, and isn't afraid to take charge of it by carrying condoms with them. Decent, amazing men have respect for women who are prepared like this!
You champion pleasure, sexual empowerment, intimacy and how to truly enjoy sex. Jonny champions you for this! Why do you think it is so important to be bold and open up conversations about this and provide educational tools for your audience?
I think it's important because not many people are doing it! It comes very natural for me, it's my gift that I can bring to the world and I guess my personality is bold, too. Plus boldness captures people's attention!
Do you have conversations with your daughter around sex and safe sex? Do you think having a conversation with young teenagers is a positive thing or do we need to keep them safe and protected for longer? Where is the line drawn?
Oh god yes, of course I do! I have been educating her since she was little. Simply giving our children a transmission of a healthy sexually empowered person is where it all begins. She knows that intimacy and sex is a priority, she knows I actively make love often, and she thinks that’s normal and natural and doesn't question it. And yes, I speak to her about safe sex, consent and communication a lot, too.
One last fun question. If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
Oh good question, I think to be invisible, so I can watch other people have sex haha!
