How To Send Nudes Appropriately
It is a phenomenon that sending nudes often falls into one of two categories; receiving unsolicited photos of penises sent without the recipients consent, or photos of breasts and vulvas sent under coercion. Maybe this was born in the classroom, where sending nudes is propelled as ‘bad’ and ‘shameful’. Maybe it’s because social media has made it easier to share intimate photos, and consequentially, easier to breach personal privacy and disregard mutual respect and consent. Universally, we are quick to feed into the negative, but it can be empowering to take a photo of yourself where you feel sexy and desirable. Instead we should ask ourselves, how can we send send nudes, appropriately?
Choose your receiver.
Unless you’re on Onlyfans and you’re aware of the nature of the platform, where the content may end up, and are receiving fair and adequate compensation, sending nudes can result in several different senarios, some favourable, some not. We’ve all read about the celebrity sagas, and if you haven’t, just get on Google. In any instance, it’s important to reflect on who you’re sending these images to.
Set your boundaries.
Ask yourself, do you want to? Is sending intimate photos something you have thought about before? If so why do you want to? What language will you use when you don’t want to send something? What do you enjoy sharing? It is best to do this in your own time, rather than in the act when you are more vulnerable and likely to feel guilty for refusing.
Create a space for open discussion.
Ask them, do they want to receive? Discuss and respect the other persons boundaries. Initiate open, honest and unfiltered discussion. "What do you want and need to feel safe and respected?" "What do you enjoy about sending and receiving nudes?" All sexual activities are improved through discussion. It may feel awkward at first. However, it is great to view this as an opportunity to better understand your own sexual boundaries and cues.
Build trust.
This is often easier said than done, especially if you have not known the person for long. Sending intimate photos may be you at your most vulnerable, you at your most empowered self, you at your sexiest. No matter how you feel, this should be shared with those you trust. Those who will uplift you, and make you feel sexy and powerful. Behind phone screen’s and green chat boxes, trust can sometimes be lost in the equation. Ask questions about the other person’s personal life to build emotional connection and understanding. Ask about their cat, ask about their coffee, ask about what they had for dinner.
Choose your platform.
There are several different encrypted messaging platforms that enable the user to send texts or photographic content that will be deleted or encrypted and unable to be screenshotted, shared, or saved. These include: Snapchat, Signal and Tinder.
Have fun.
It is important to remember this is your body. Sending nudes is not a bad thing, and you shouldn’t feel bad for doing it. You are in control. Express yourself in a way that makes you love and feel proud of your body. Put on your favourite lingerie. Feel sexy. Light a candle. Turn off the lights. Be in touch with your body.
